Toilet Training - by Dr. Charu Palta, Neonatologist & Pediatrician in SEIMC
You may be confused or
pressurized
about toilet training your child. This is not surprising, considering that most people are bombarded with advice and expectations from relatives, friends, and day care providers.
When is the best time?
Physical readiness - Children are physically capable of being toilet-trained when they develop muscular control over their bowel and bladder. This rarely happens before 18 months of age.
Some basic signs that your child has bowel and bladder control include the following:
• Bowel movements occur on a regular, somewhat predictable schedule.
• Bowel movements do not occur during the night.
• Diapers frequently are dry after waking from a nap or for at least 2 hours at a time.
• Facial expressions, grunting, or squatting indicate an awareness that he or she is passing urine or stool.
Your child must also be able to climb, remove clothing, and talk enough so that he or she can communicate with you about the need to use the toilet.
Emotional readiness-
Your child may be physically ready to toilet train after 18 months of age. However, emotional readiness may take more time.Your child must be willing to cooperate with you during the toilet training process. Training does not generally go well if your child is in the stage where "no" is his or her automatic response to every request.
Your child signals emotional readiness for toilet training in several ways. He or she may:
• Tell you when his or her diaper is dirty and ask to have it changed.
• Be eager to please and able to follow simple directions.
• Tell you that he or she wants to use the toilet or wear underwear instead of diapers.
• Like to be neat and tidy. Many children go through a period where they like being clean and organized.
• Act interested when other family members use the bathroom.
Be careful of getting too excited about your child's readiness after he or she shows one or two of these signs. A child may be excited about using the "potty," only to lose interest very quickly.
Delays in toilet training
It is normal for your child to be doing well with toilet training and to suddenly begin having problems. For example, he or she may try to "hold it" for long periods or want to wear diapers again. This does not mean your efforts have failed; rather, it signals that you need to ease up on the training for a little while.
Stress in the home can interfere with a child's toilet training. For example, toilet training setbacks can be related to the arrival of a new baby, a move, a change in preschool or child care, family conflict, or illness or death of a close family member.
Parents often feel that their child should be trained by a specific age or to meet a deadline, such as for a requirement to enroll in a particular day care. You and your child are less likely to become frustrated and have a good experience with toilet training if it is not forced. Staying positive and relaxed is an important part of training your child.Negative reactions generally do not help. Children need frequent praise throughout the entire process of toilet training.
Measuring success
You will know your child is toilet-trained when he or she regularly anticipates the need to go to the bathroom and is able to climb onto and use the potty you provide with little help. This process takes time, from weeks to months. Each child is different, but most children are successfully trained around age 3 or shortly thereafter (girls are typically trained a few months earlier than boys). Your child may still need occasional help, such as with wiping, until age 4 or 5. He or she may also need help and reassurance when using a toilet in an unfamiliar bathroom, such as in a public restroom, until about age 5 or 6.
Most toilet-trained children occasionally wet or soil their pants during the day, usually because they get distracted. For example, your child may ignore the need to go to the bathroom because he or she does not want to interrupt playtime. These occasional accidents may occur until your child is 5 years old. Stress can also cause a child to revert to wetting his or her pants.
Your child is not ready to start toilet training if he or she shows any resistance. Typically, a child objects by:
• Standing next to the potty and then going on the floor.
• Screaming and crying when taken to the potty.
• Seeming comfortable and even happy about sitting in a soiled diaper.
• Saying, "No potty!"
Accidental wetting or soiling
Toilet-trained children may have occasional accidents up until school age. A child who has an accident during the day is often in the middle of playing and simply holds it too long. Nighttime accidents may occur frequently within the first 12 months after children learn how to use the toilet during the day. Many 3-year-olds wet the bed at night at least once a month.
Most children use the toilet during the day consistently and successfully around age 3. See your doctor if your child:
• Does not use the toilet during the day by age 4.
• Continues to soil his or her pants after age 5.
